It’s not enough for us to show up – be careful of overvaluing your contribution.
You might even think ‘OK they seem like a great person, but I’m looking for a partner too. ’ It might seem like this person thinks that what they automatically bring to the table is so great that all they need to do is ‘reply’ and show up.
Or, you might think that they just want to be casual about things.
If you make it the ‘job’ of the guy to contact and make the plans, you opt for a lesser role in your relationship – the best you can hope to be is a backseat driver.
The key is not to accept the default role of a passenger – someone who automatically let’s someone else dictate the terms even if they might later try and close the door after the horse has bolted and complain.
Recently a friend expressed her fury that the guy she’d been seeing for a few weeks didn’t call her for a week.